A nightmare film production, a drug-addicted-diva lead actor, the overworked and underpaid crew members, a psychopathic director, a missing duffle bag of cash, and the story of a forgotten gang leader returning to his old stomping grounds after years of hiding.
Written and recorded by Andrew Gair and Kyle Kitchen
Mixed by Kyle Kitchen
Mastered by Kevin Basko at Historic New Jersey
Recorded December 5, 2020 - May 4, 2021 via webcam
Cover art by Ravachol
Additional artwork by Andrew Gair, Kyle Kitchen,
Graeme Moffatt & Miles Evans-Branagh
Digital booklet included with purchase
Wel-Pel Records
PERSONNEL
Andrew Gair
acoustic & electric guitar, lead & background vocals,
bass, drums (8), tambourine, melodica, synth, foley, mug
Kyle Kitchen
keyboards, drums, lead & background vocals,
percussion, electric twelve string guitar, foley, bontempi, ratchet
Miles Evans-Branagh
upright piano (2,5), lead vocals & additional lyrics (3)
Thank you for joining us for tonights celebration
The show will begin shortly
But first a few words from the films producer
The one and only Dr. Octavious Miller
Tonight, the makers of Magic Duck
Bring you another thrilling adventure
Please direct your attention up here front and centre
Before we begin there's some things you all should know
This isn’t your everyday average show
It's shockingly horrific now's your chance to leave if you're frightened
For once it begins you must stay till nights end
Without further ado please tuck yourselves in
For the show is about to begin
It came with a cost when the money got lost
Who's gonna tell the boss?
Oh yeah, alright, just one quick question
Do you want to watch my movie?
The characters work in the market place
With a smile on their face
I’m on a set at 6 am but they told me I was late
But I've been building movie sets since 1968
Well the last thing that they told me
Was that my job was on the line
So I went back and trashed my trailer
While my replacement read my lines
It's no good, Hollywood, it means shit to me
Oh yeah, alright, If you’re not busy would you like to watch my movie?
It deals with things you've probably never seen on the silver screen
Oh! Watch my movie
On April first its out on DVD
You can watch it with me
If you want to run with Casey
He’ll have you selling tabs of LSD
Have you seen my pterodactyl?
She’s absolutely massive nine feet tall
Did you hear 'bout Lester Murphy?
His neighbour Larry cut off both his feet
Do you want to watch my movie?
The characters work in the market place
As long as you try, tried your best
And you know it in your heart
Then I forgive you
HALF A MAGIC DUCK
I’ve been going to town tryna get a little done
Stop chasing me round every corner that I turn
I’m making a movie, I live for this shit, I’d die for this film
But I can’t stop making it rain as a half a magic duck
Stop making us money
I’ve been rushing around with a lion on my mind
Stop bringing me down little little all the time
I’m making a record, I live for the tape, I’ll die for this take
But I cant stop feeling the pain as a half a magic duck
Stop making me cry babe
But if you change your mind, I'll be the first in line
Cause I'll be here waiting for Dante
Just give me a call man
I've been living a lie like a badger on the run
Stop wasting my time man
I've been stumbling around Jedediahs got a gun
Stop pointing it at me
I've been writing a book scribble scribble all the time
Stop freaking me out babe
I've been chasing a high that I'm never gonna find
Stop bringing me down babe
STOOD UP TOO FAST
You stood up too fast
You gotta slow down
And stop your moving around
And like a face in the crowd
You went searching for a higher love
But you stood up too fast
And fell right back down
Slow down baby don't you hurry along
If I stay up too late will someone call
If I carry a tune right through my neighbours wall
I’m just a baby deer on roller skates
Cause i stood up too fast
And fell right back down
You stood up too fast
You oughta relax
And take a look at the facts
You know you covered your tracks
And they're searching for another man
So put it all in the past
You stood up too fast
Calm down things are turning around
I could take you to Four Leaf Clover Falls
Like a note in the pocket of my overalls
And I'll be there on your wedding day
And I’ll stand up for you
And I wont back down
LESTER & LARRY
Lester was a textbook over thinker
Whisky drinker, loved to tinker in his workshop at night
And everyone says he’s so nice
Oh, that Lester’s so nice
But they don't know about his past
They don't know about the truth
Oh that awful truth
Lester oh Lester they’re gonna find out, it’s all over town
The papers they’re smearing your name
They’ve got it on the front page
But if you pick one up yourself
You’d find that it's all in you're mind
I just can’t explain it can't you see
Oh something strange is happening to me
Everybody wants to feel, everybody wants to feel
Everybody wants to feel, part of each other
Backstabbing Larry does all things nefarious
Lying, cheating, stealing, that's his game
Oh that rat bastard Larry must think it's hilarious
To see people in such pain
Once was a married man, living on the prairie land
Now he’s got nobody but himself
Oh that black badger Larry was in a precarious situation with his elf
He just wants to be loved, cause everybody wants to be loved
Oh and Larry’s no exception
Cause they all know about the past
They all know about the truth
Oh that awful truth
Larry oh Larry you can't change your past
You stood up too fast
The waiters calling your name
Do you wanna hear about the specials
On a lazy afternoon you’ll find a little peace in your mind
Something fucking strange is on my feet
Oh I just can’t explain it can’t you see
Everybody wants to feel, everybody wants to feel
Everybody wants to feel, part of each other
WAITING SO LONG
Oh gimme that funky shit
C’mon party people can you rock like this
I’m not trying to get bad tonight
But I see you there looking from the other side
Wherever you go, if you’re lonely
We can get together baby oh yeah
Oh, girl I’ve been waiting so long for you
Oh, girl I’ve been waiting so long for you
I won’t ever be untrue
And I won't let no bad things happen to you
And I won't paint you in a corner red or blue
Yes I will always come through for you
Oh gimme that you know what
Meet me in the middle for a hundred bucks
I’m just trying to get down tonight
And I’ll be here waiting for the rest of my life
You already know, I’ve been lonely
But we can come together honey oh yeah
Oh, girl I’ve been waiting so long for you
Oh, girl I’ve been waiting so long for you
And I won’t ever be untrue
I won't let no bad things happen to you
I won't paint you in a corner red or blue
I will always come through for you
Don't let go
Oh, girl I’ve been waiting so long for you
Oh, girl I’ve been waiting so long for you
CASEY AND THE BONERATS
Gather round my ducklings, let me tell you a story
Tragedy awaits you, heartbreak, triumph and glory
Back in the days before the fog went away
Casey and Ponzo led the Bonerats Brigade
To glory almighty through the endless nights of pain
Oh Casey, we’re waiting
Just give the call and we’ll come running out
And Casey tell me whats this all about
Love went away in a few different ways
It's not as simple as they make it seem
There are few of us remaining that remember those days
Casey and Ponzo have long since gone away
Their eyes on the moonlight and their shadows at play
Oh Casey, we love you
They’ll never take your name out of this mouth
And Casey baby how did you make out?
C-A-S-E-Y
Casey Casey you’re our guy
Casey Casey sell that coke
Casey baby can I bum a smoke?
Casey Casey lemme buy you a drink
Casey baby tell me what you think
Casey Casey on the street
Came across a mother fucker named Pete
Casey Casey don't you cry
Casey and the Bonerats x15
MAGIC DUCK
Get up early and pose like a pigeon in front of the mirror
Is it too late to put on my little evening gown
No it’s far too early to go out
Lord have mercy I don’t wanna give in to temptation
But i keep hearing her call and I wanna go down
I know something is happening in my home
Who’s got my money? I want my money
I come home and stand in the mirror again
Magic Duck, Magic Duck, Magic Duck
And he’s down on his luck
You gotta pay that rooster when the sun comes up
Gotta drive that beetle for a buck
HEY!
Dante’s trying to hide from my camera
And he keeps running away from a chat that we need to have
Who knows maybe someday Caseys gonna come back home
Who's got my money? m-m-m-money
I can’t hardly stare in the mirror again
Magic Duck, Magic Duck, Magic Duck
And he’s down on his luck
He’s gotta pay that rooster when the sun comes up
Gotta drive that beetle for a buck
HEART OF THE CITY
Heart of the city you can hear 'em cry
I see the girl with the evil eye, doing it right
Sirens scream in the dead of night
Each day we stray further and further from the light, its alright
I’ve been on the run for way too long
It was fine till i realized they were putting me on
If you snooze you lose, kick off your shoes, bad news
See ya later alligator, hail a taxi, tip the waiter I’ll be in the elevator
Can’t you see this city's got my heart
Hard to watch my city fall apart
Fall apart
In the eye of a hurricane
A flash of lightening in the pouring rain
Who is that guy?
Tires screech on the muscle cars
Down on the strip, 3am
I know she's out at the bars
I know she's with Lars
I’ve been on my own for way too long
It was fine for awhile now I know that I’ve got to go home
I’ll be cruising for a bruising if I go
I’m not scared well who cares, I’ve had my fair share of bruises before
Can’t you see this city’s got my heart?
I’ll go back and make a brand new start
With all my heart, Cassandra
Hoo! C’mon!
Ok! Alright!
Are you gonna rock with me tonight?
Patrick Hanley Hayes
You’re the one that I admire
Patrick Hanley Hayes
You're the one that I desire
Patrick Hanley Hayes
You're the one that I’ve been dreaming of
Patrick Hanley Hayes
You are more than good enough for me
More than good enough for me
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